Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Eight Secrets to Eternal Life/Retiring Young

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a princess who was beautiful as well as kind. She had skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as artificially dyed as the next ang moh wannabe. Hahaha… I know people are starting to feel their lunch/dinner/tea break coming up…

Florence tagged me a long time ago, and I have been putting off doing the tag as I don’t like to forward chain mails. It’s not my style, but anyhow, since I have run out of excuses (READ: exam over) and she has repeatedly mentioned that I need not tag anyone else…(My sad excuse was that I don’t have 8 people to tag on) I shall expose the secrets of eternal life of the weird and wonderful.

The rules:
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write on their own blog eight things about themselves and post these rules.
At the end of your blog entry, you need to choose eight people to tag and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

The Eight Secrets to Being a Successful Retiree
1) I play with my food. Some people may not notice it, while others have reprimanded me for arranging my chips in a cute fish bone shape. This does not apply to cakes, sweets and desserts.
2) I want to retire after graduation. Somehow, I have always wanted to retire after I graduate from university. It has never occurred to me find a job and pay taxes after I finish spending my father’s money.
3) I told my teachers and my friends’ parents that I was going to get married after I finished Form 5. I even got my mum to collaborate with me in the scam. The shocked expression on their faces was well worth the effort.
4) I hate math. I can do it; I just don’t like doing it. My brain works like a calculator, but I just don’t like the idea of doing mathematics as a subject.
5) I can’t spell. Considering that I have gotten the award for English for 4 of the 5 years of secondary school, with one year exception being that I didn’t sit the exam due to absence, that fact is pretty shocking. Yes, I learnt that ‘visit’ had two ‘Is’ in it in Form 2.
6) I don’t like birds or anything with feathers, beaks or claws. They are scary and have the added advantage of being able to fly, which I don’t possess.
7) I am very good at awakening others to the things they desire and convincing them to buy them with no regrets. Somehow, I have yet to convince anyone to buy me a diamond ring. I am still figuring where I went wrong.

Finally, this is probably the weirdest and most wonderful:
8) I am allergic to grass. That green leafy thing that grows on the ground covering great expanses of land. I am also allergic to trees, or so my doctor says and I get a severe inflammatory response with the full redness, itching, swelling, pain and loss of movement due to swelling. I am also allergic to oregano, to a lot of spices which I don’t recall, as well as alcohol. I am intolerant to heat and can get heat exhaustion just from being under the sun for more than 2 hours.

There, with these eight things, you will be able to retire happily. My sister is a testimonial of this. She is retiring when my dad retires, which is when she turns 13 years old.



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